If You Give An Element Warrior A Cookie
by Noritsu
Summary: The format for this story is taken from the If You Give A Mouse A Cookie children's book. Each of the elemental warriors will have their own chapter. Story is finished.
1. Wind

**Xiaolin Showdown**

**If You Give An Element Warrior A Cookie**

Authoress: Noritsu

Disclaimer

I **do not** own the Xiaolin Showdown characters, or the Xiaolin Showdown universe. They are copyrighted and belong to Christie Hui and Warner Brothers.

The storyline, however, is mine. So no pilfering, please. Thanks.

**TUN** Publishing Company

March, 2008

**T**he**U**sual**N**onsense

**Wind**

If you give Raimundo a cookie, he will want a glass of milk to go with it.

When he walks into the kitchen to fetch the glass of milk, he will want to look out the window.

When he looks out the window he will see that it's a nice, sunny day outside.

When he sees that it's a nice, sunny day outside he will decide to go out into the fresh air to eat his cookie and drink his milk.

When he walks outside he will decide to go and find his teammates so that he will not be alone while he enjoys his cookie and milk.

When he finds his three teammates he will think to himself that he misses pulling pranks on them since he's become leader.

After he realizes how much he misses pulling pranks on his teammates, he will decide to pull one last prank on them for old time's sake.

He will kick up a stiff breeze and knock them all off balance, sending them toppling here and there onto the ground.

He will grin maniacally at what he's done, and feel pretty proud of himself.

His grin will fade quickly when he sees that his three teammates have turned in his direction and are practically stampeding, rather angrily, toward him.

He will turn to run for his life because he knows what's coming, but he won't be quick enough.

Water will splash him, fire will burn him, and the earth will jostle him and send him falling onto his backside.

He will become angry and proceed to yell about how he didn't mean any harm, he was just trying to see if they were paying attention, and for crying out loud where's their sense of humor?

His teammates will not be amused and will threaten him with his very life if he ever pranks them again.

**Ever.**

After his teammates leave, and he has calmed down, he will remember that, initially, he came out here to eat a cookie and drink a glass of milk.

Upon finding his spilled milk, broken glass and plate, and crushed cookie, he will feel quite forlorn and decide that to console himself he should go back inside and get another cookie.

After getting another cookie, he will, of course, want a glass of milk to go with it….

* * *

TBC…

Nori


	2. Fire

If you wish to view the disclaimer, please backtrack to Chapter One.

**Fire**

If you give Kimiko a cookie, she will want a glass of milk to go with it.

When she takes a sip of the cold milk, she will decide that she doesn't like it and she wants to warm it up.

She will go into the kitchen, walk over to the microwave, and open the door to put the milk in.

After opening the door, she will immediately recoil and feel disgust upon finding the appliance rather dirty.

She will curse under her breath about how how sick and tired she is of putting up with the stupid, slobby boys she has for teammates.

She will decide that cursing them behind their backs isn't good enough and she will go looking for them.

After she finds them, she will lecture them about how she is **so not** cleaning the microwave out and they better get their butts in the kitchen and do it or else there will be hell to pay.

She will become even angrier after the stupid, slobby boys she has for teammates get sarcastic with her and ask her who died and put her in charge.

After Omi makes a crack about how cleaning the kitchen appliances is, technically, girl's work anyway, she will flip out and go ballisitic.

She will chase her three teammates down as they go running for their lives from her.

After Clay and Raimundo hastily tell her that they'll go in the kitchen and clean the microwave until it sparkles, she will calm down a bit and agree to spare their lives.

After Clay and Raimundo leave, she will turn on Omi who has been left quite alone by his other two teammates.

She will extract a proper apology from him, using methods that will not be discussed here, for his insensitive remark about girls doing housework.

After a traumatized Omi scampers off for the comfort and seclusion of his bedroom, she will head back into the kitchen to see how Clay and Raimundo are doing.

Upon entering the kitchen she will see that they did make good on their word and the microwave is now spotlessly clean.

She will also notice that Clay is drinking her glass of milk and Raimundo is eating her cookie.

She will count to ten and try to remain calm as Clay and Raimundo apologize profusely for eating and drinking her food but they honestly didn't know it belonged to her.

She will force herself to walk over the the table and sit down and wait while Rai and Clay ransack the cupboards to find the bag of cookies so they can give her another one.

Upon handing her the cookie, Kimiko will politely, through gritted teeth, tell her two teammates that she would like a glass of milk to go with it, and she would like it _warm_, thank you very much…..

* * *

TBC…

Nori


	3. Water

If you wish to view the disclaimer, please backtrack to Chapter One.

**Water**

If you give Omi a cookie, he will want a glass of milk to go with it.

The milk pouring out of the container will remind him of a flow of water over a fall.

This will cause him to want to go outside to eat his cookie and drink his milk.

Once outside he will decide to go and sit by the stream in the new meditation garden that he and his teammates constructed.

When he gets to the garden he will notice that there are a few woodland creatures out and about and he will decide that he might like to talk to them.

He will leave and go to the Wu vault to get the Tongue of Saiping.

When he returns to the new meditation garden he will notice that his cookie has been eaten, and his milk has been drank.

He will become upset and, using the Tongue of Saiping, demand to know which of the woodland animals had the audacity to eat his food while he was gone.

When one of the animals makes a smart crack that that's what he gets for abandoning his food, Omi will become quite upset.

He will begin yelling at them and calling them names like 'stupid', and 'lazy'.

This will cause the animals to fall over and begin laughing at him.

Omi will become even more angry and begin jumping up and down and shouting even louder.

He will inform the animals that he is the greatest Xiaolin Warrior that has ever lived and how dare they think they can just eat his food without suffering the consequences.

The animals will correct him and tell him that he is acting like the most conceited, stuck-up Xiaolin Warrior that has ever lived and is he aware of just how large and round his head really is?

Omi will flip out and begin attacking the animals.

The sound of the commotion will carry across the temple grounds and reach Raimundo's ears.

Raimundo will panic because he will think they have come under attack from the Heylin and that someone is slicing and dicing Omi up into little tiny Omi fries.

He will round up his other three teammates, Master Fung and the elders, and they will run off post-haste toward the sound of the fighting.

Upon reaching the garden and seeing that they are not under attack but it's just Omi fighting with the animals again, it will be Raimundo's turn to get angry.

He will drag Omi back to the temple and give him a lecture that will leave his ears ringing.

Omi will retaliate by whipping out his patented 'hurt' face, complete with the big, round, sad eyes and quivering lower lip.

This will cause Rai to start feeling a bit guilty because maybe he was a little too hard on Omi.

He will go in to the kitchen, grab a cookie and bring it back out to give to Omi.

After Omi is given the cookie, he will, of course, want a glass of milk to go with it….

* * *

TBC…

Nori


	4. Earth

If you wish to view the disclaimer, please backtrack to Chapter One.

Raimundoroks said 'bring it on!'…..well….you asked for it!

Food fight!

**Earth**

If you give Clay a cookie, he will want a glass of milk to go with it.

He will go into the kitchen and open up the refrigerator to get the milk.

After getting the milk he will take a moment to look longingly at all the food that's just sitting in there waiting to be eaten.

After looking at the food for a few minutes, he will decide to take out as much as he can fit on both arms.

He will place all the food that he has taken out of the fridge onto the table and go grab a plate and a glass.

After grabbing the plate and glass, he will pour out his milk and then sit down to start eating all the food that he's gathered.

When Raimundo and his other two teammates come into the kitchen looking for a midday snack, Clay will stop in mid-bite and stare at them.

Raimundo will narrow his eyes in suspicion and anger and return the look Clay is giving them.

Clay will brace himself because he knows what Raimundo is thinking.

Raimundo will slip into a chair, wave Omi and Kimiko forward, and begin eating away at the food Clay has placed on the table.

Clay's competitive nature will come out and he will begin eating faster in order to keep Raimundo from getting too much of his food.

Rai will respond by eating faster as well.

He will also begin pulling piles of food away from Clay and toward him on his side of the table so that Omi and Kimiko will have something to eat.

Clay will inform him that there's still some more food left in the fridge.

Raimundo will not believe him.

Omi will make a crack about how Clay could stand to lose a few pounds.

Clay will become angry and insult Omi's ego and his head.

Omi will become angry and insult Clay's stomach and his Kung Fu skills.

Kimiko will leave to go get Master Fung because she can already see where this is headed.

Clay will throw a piece of food at Omi.

Omi will throw a piece of food back at Clay.

Rai will get in between the two of them to make them stop because that's what a good leader ought to do.

Rai will get hit in the crossfire because Clay and Omi aren't listening to him and are still throwing food at each other.

Rai will get mad, pick up all the food with a gust of wind, and dump it on Clay and Omi.

Clay and Omi will stop throwing food at each other and begin pelting Raimundo instead.

Rai will begin throwing food back at Clay and Omi.

The kitchen will erupt into an all-out, knock-down-drag-out, no-holds-barred food battle.

At some point, in the midst of the food fight, Clay's cookie will go tumbling onto the floor, and his glass of milk will get spilled.

At this exact moment, Kimiko will return with Master Fung and Dojo.

When Master Fung sees the mess that his three apprentices have created, he will become angrier than he was when Omi misused the power of the Ring of the Nine Dragons.

Dojo will begin laughing and tell them that they are b-u-s-t-e-d.

Master Fung will order Clay, Rai, and Omi to sequester themselves in the kitchen and they are not to leave it until it is absolutely, spotlessly clean.

Kimiko will give Rai a cutesy smirk before following after Master Fung.

Rai will immediately begin scheming to get even with her when she least expects it.

After the kitchen has been thoroughly cleaned, Clay will start complaining because he's hungry again and will head off in search of the bag of cookies.

Raimundo and Omi will drag Clay kicking and screaming out of the kitchen and proceed to pile desks, cabinets, bookcases, chairs, and anything else they can grab, in the doorway so that Clay won't be able to get back into the kitchen until suppertime.

Clay will walk off forlorn and heartbroken because not only did he not get to have another cookie, he also didn't get to have another glass of milk to go with it.

Poor guy…..

finis

* * *

Thanks so much for all the reviews!

Reviews are much appreciated.

TTFN, Nori


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